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13 December 2010 @ 06:35 pm
Fic for miracleshining  
Title: Blessed
For: miracleshining
Pairing: Hankyung/Donghae
Rating: PG
Summary: Born in a world that hated him, Hankyung struggled to find a place where he was accepted. And then Donghae came along.
Author’s Notes: I’m not sure I worked the prompts the way you wanted, and I’m sorry for that. I hope you like it ^^ *nervous*

They wanted to kill me the day I was born.

My mother’s village was a secluded one, near the dangerous borders of the Black Sea and the Nation of Xhang, a tiny little village with barely enough people to be called so.

With the Great War going on and peace a distant memory in the minds of the elders, it’s quite understandable the, sometimes irrational, fear of the unknown, and it was with that fear that I was brought into the world.

I remember my mother telling me that everything seemed fine when she had me, and that she had been praying for me to be born with black hair, and not blond, like my Xhangian father. Well, I did come out with black hair, but my eyes were as black as my hair, and that gave my heritage away as if someone had shouted from the roof.

They had tried to get me away from her, to get rid of the curse that would befall them for having a child with the enemy, but my mother was a force to be reckoned with, when she wanted. Still, to this day, I have no idea how she managed to keep the crazy folks away from me, but I admire her nerves.

I just wish she were still here to see how far I’ve come.

I grew up as the strange child, the cursed child, and so on and so forth. The nicknames seemed harmless, until I grew old enough to understand their meaning. I was picked on by the other kids for being different, and aside from my mother’s love, I never got much in the affection field, and compassion was a strange word I couldn’t grasp the meaning of.

Life was hard and sometimes it seemed like it didn’t pay, and I remember clearly of people complaining of the cold winters, the lack of food, the fewer animals every year.

The entire village blamed their misfortune on me. They would whisper, when they thought I wasn’t listening, that my mother had sealed their fate the day she decided to lay with the enemy. That used to get me so angry, I would start shouting at them for badmouthing my mother, but all it resulted in was worsening my reputation as the curse of the village.

I wanted to get away, but sometimes I felt like I was going to die and rot on that far away corner of the world.

I was twelve summers when my mother got sick. At first, what seemed like a regular winter sickness escalated into a full fever disease, and my mother would spend entire days in bed, sweating profusely and coughing up blood, from hurting her throat so much.

I remember being scared and alone and wondering what would become of me if the only person that cared about me died. It didn’t take long to find that out.

I met Donghae the day my mother died.

There was no funeral, no memorial, nothing. At least, not that I know of, because my mother had instructed me that, should something happen to her, I was to get as far away from the village as I could.

Today, more mature, I understand her fears. They wouldn’t hesitate to kill the problem once its guardian was out of the way. So when she died, I grabbed my meager possessions, which consisted of some clothes and shoes and the pendant my father gave to my mother before he died, and took off.

In the middle of the trees, I looked back only once, tears running down my face, to see the village elders approaching the hut I had lived with my mother. I got away just in time.

I walked for hours, not really knowing where I was going or what I would do once I got there. All I knew is that I had to survive, one way or another. It wasn’t long before I passed out, from exhaustion, on the snow covered forest floor.

I woke up, to what I guess must have been a couple of hours later, to find myself in a comfortable bed in a room I didn’t recognize. For a brief moment I panicked, thinking they had found me, that I had broken my promise to my mother, that I was going to die. But as soon as I sat up, I spotted Donghae sleeping in a chair right next to the bed, and I knew, however crazy it may seem, that I was safe.

Of course, at that time, I didn’t know his name, or who he was, or anything about him, really. All I knew was that Donghae smelled like salvation.

That day will be forever seared in my memory as the day I lost everything, but also as the day I gained everything.

The first time I saw Donghae’s mother, Nayoung, was when he noticed I was awake and ran, shouting, out of the room. Seconds later he came back with a young, pretty woman, and she introduced herself and her son.

I’m sure I looked befuddled and a little scared, but she just smiled kindly and asked if I was hungry. I didn’t answer because my rumbling stomach did it for me, and she left the room, leaving me alone with Donghae.

He was a curious boy back then – still is, actually –, and asked me so many questions at once, I didn’t know where to begin answering.

That night, we three sat together around the fire as I told them my story. They never batted an eyelash to me being half-Xhangian, for which I was so grateful I started to cry. Embarrassed, I tried to get away, only to be swept by a motherly hug, while Donghae grinned to the side.

Years later I would come to realize that, at that exact moment, I had gained a second family.

The beginning was strange and exciting, and I often caught myself wondering when that apparently perfect peace would be broken. Nayoung used to reprimand me whenever I got sad or too pensive, saying I was too mature for my age. I would just grin and ignore her, which I’m sure got her a little angry sometimes.

But the peace did last for a few years, until I turned sixteen summers – Donghae just shy of being fifteen –, and everything changed in our family dynamics.

I began seeing Donghae with different eyes, and at first I didn’t know why, nor did I care. I didn’t exactly know how to react to the feelings I thought were common, after living with someone for so long, but they didn’t bother me.

Not until I began avoiding Donghae because of them.

He would seek me out to go hunting or just to spend some time with me, and I would make up some excuse about helping Nayoung in the kitchen, feeding the animals, anything to spend as less time as possible near him. But of course, Donghae being the perceptive person he is, soon noticed my avoidance, and that’s when things got out of hand.

We fought at every opportunity given, for the stupidest reasons, and it soon took a toll on us. It got to the point where we couldn’t stand being in the same room, and I could see Nayoung frowning worriedly every time she thought I wasn’t looking. By then I already knew what I felt – seeing people court each other on the city, the rare times we went there, helped –, but I was too ashamed to speak to her and lessen her worries.

I thought she would hate me for loving her son.

But as the meddling woman that she was, it didn’t take long for her to take matters in her own hands. One day I got home from hunting to find Donghae, with a sour expression, locked outside of the house. Everything instantly clicked, and I knew I wouldn’t be granted permission inside the house either, not until I resolved things between us.

So it was with sweaty hands that I sat beside Donghae on the back yard, while he tended to a small fire. Thankfully it was autumn, so we wouldn’t freeze to death.

I’m not sure how much time we stayed there, silently sitting beside each other, pretending nothing was wrong. I could see, from the corner of my eyes, Donghae fidgeting ever so slightly now and then, just as nervous as I was.

That gave me pause, and I thought it was then or never. I didn’t want any misunderstanding ruining whatever relationship we had.

With butterflies on my stomach, I turned to him with a serious expression, which, knowing him, scared him a little. I refrained from saying anything, afraid that my mouth would run away from my brain and ruin things up.

So, slowly, I raised my hands to his face, and tried not to think about his surprised expression while I closed the distance between us. It was a simple, chaste kiss, but it was quite obvious what I wanted to say.

I don’t really remember the rest of that night, it’s all a blur of shared smiles and embarrassed laughs. But I do remember seeing Nayoung’s smiling face spying on us from the kitchen window.

She had known all along, of course. And she still loved me.

Two years later, on a cloudy spring day, Nayoung died from the same disease that took my mother. I can’t begin to describe the pain and sadness I relived all over again, nor can I describe the sheer despair I saw in Donghae’s eyes.

All I could do was, with Donghae’s help, dig up Nayoung’s grave, putting not only one, but two roses on her gravestone, representing the two mothers I had lost.

There was nothing for us at that house anymore, because it stopped being a home the moment Nayoung died.

One day, some months later, Donghae came to me with an idea that, at first, seemed completely crazy. But after some convincing on his part and some reluctance on mine, he managed to permanently put the thought in my mind.

We were going to Xhang.

And that’s how I find myself, right now, huddled up on the bed, with Donghae sleeping quietly by my side, with this little journal on my hands. With the War moving west and Xhang having surrendered almost a year ago, the roads are open again for trade and travel.

We’re going to build a new life in a new nation, where the painful memories will hopefully calm down with time, to a day when we’ll be able to remember everything with fondness.

And thus, I end here my story. Tomorrow it’s a new life.

“Have we gotten everything?”

“I’m sure we did, don’t worry.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

I look at Donghae and my eyes are caught by the shine of the pendant around his neck. It’s the same one my father gave my mother. I know she would have wanted me to give it to someone important to me.

“You know,” I say, grabbing his hand and pulling him close. There’s something I’ve been meaning to say to him. “I would often be referred to as a cursed child in my old village, and even though you and your mother made me feel wanted and loved, sometimes I couldn’t help but remember those hurtful words.”

He opens his mouth to comment, but I need to get this out of my chest before I lose my courage, so I interrupt.

“But now, you... you make me feel blessed. Thank you.”

Of course he cries, as sensitive as ever, and I hug him with pleasure, relishing the warm he gives me.

Yes, I wish my mother – no, my mothers – could see me now. I am happy and whole and after every pain I went through, I’ve learned to cherish what I have.

And now my life – our life – truly begins.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Taffy "Miracle Shining" Anderson: Lovemiracleshining on December 14th, 2010 02:20 am (UTC)
Oh my heavens, my heart literally melted when I read this.

I can't begin to quote a particular passage without taking up the whole series of words. The level of emotion that was poured out by Hankyung, the feeling of loneliness, acceptance, anger and love all wrapped up into a tight little ball was exquisite.

Donghae matched Hankyung perfectly, two halves of the same whole. Compassion was there, blessed and beautiful and perfect.

Thank you to whomever wrote this. When it's time for the reveal, I can not wait to give you my heart felt love for this piece. It was a real honor to read it.
FollowUrDestiny: hanhaefollowurdestiny on December 14th, 2010 12:20 pm (UTC)
ahww... this is so precious... lovely... <33
HanHae... Geng being an outcast, found his place beside Hae -- a new life begins <3333